Its been a busy few weeks with the holidays and managing 2 children. I apologize for the lack of content. But I do have a gem for you...complete with image.
While walking into my local Kroger store, I spotted the following vehicle. While the above photo won't do it justice, I will try to describe it as best as I can.
Before I begin...please notice the parking job. Nice...huh! This spot was actually pretty close to the door too.
1) Of course it is a large, diesel Dodge Ram truck. This one, while jazzed up with some large exhaust stacks jutting up semi-style through the bed, was missing a bumper, but did have a hitch. I couldn't believe there were no latex balls!
2) Decal on trunk that said "Redneck mafia." OK...what is the Redneck mafia? It is a group of country boys dealing in extortion, drug running and racketeering? Or it a code word for the Klan? Or is it a group of inbreds who work quietly behind the scenes to hick-ify our country. Perhaps they are responsible for pushing Realtree as a fashion statement, making Knucklefishing a TV event, getting GW Bush II elected to two terms and what must be their ultimate triumph to date: convincing the national media that a large part of the county cares about NASCAR. (FYI - ESPN, SI and mainstream media - I am pretty sure we don't)
3) Stickers on rear windows that are as follows:
a) One Dale Earnhardt #3 logo - that's key. He must be the aforementioned Mafia's version of Kurt Cobain, James Dean or JFK.
b) "Diesel Fumes make me Horny." Wow.....I'll let you run wild with this one. I don't know where to begin.
c) "Real Trucks don't have Spark Plugs" I actually liked this one, very clever. Much better than the usual Calvin pissing on any other vehicle logo, or worse yet kneeling before the cross. Hate those stickers!!!
4) The grand finale, unfortunately I couldn't get a good picture of it. On the side window, was a sticker that had a huge Dodge Ram logo with the caption up top "Cummin Hard." I assumed this was a reference to the Manliness of the engine. However, closer inspection revealed a naked woman's silhouette wrything in the throes of orgasmic passion straddled the ram's left horn. Bravo!!!! Way to combine classlessness, with bestiality and at least thematic hints at Satanism (Goats, female sexuality, Eve).
I submit to you dear readers...this gentleman...or country lesbian is in fact an asshole.
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