Things That Outrage Me V: Kids Toothpaste

My son's bathroom looks like a rabid dog has ate Papa Smurf and the whole Smurf gang, drooling, spitting and spreading electric blue froth all over the place. The sink is caked in it, the counters have blue iridescent stalagmites forming, the floors and mirrors are splattered.

This particular Crest product features the spiderman logo. Apparently Spiderman is a fag - who knew he was into sparkly things in dashing shades of blue typically not associated with the webslinger. It says, I may be a super hero, but on my own time I am super fabulous. Maybe that's why he never hit that Russian chick in spidey 2. Maybe this Mary Jane thing is like a Tom Cruise/Katie Holmes thing without the spaceships and Will Smith calling every 5 minutes.

Seriously, who makes a kid product that color, knowing they will only proceed to get it all over everything. The worse part is, once it hardens, the product takes on an epoxy-like hardness. You need an industrial grinder to remove it!! Mr. Scrubbing Bubbles took one look at it and crawled his sorry ass back in the can. Now he won't come out even to clean our bathroom!