Cops: Preschool Edition!!

The following dialogue is a transcript of an episode filmed last week while our crews shadowed a local preschool.

Dispatch: Ah...Yeah, Patrol 1, we got a report of a two white males fighting over in the 4 year old room. Can you head over and uh..check it out?

Patrol 1: This Patrol 1, we're on the way. Over.

Later on the scene......

Officer on Scene: Was anybody fighting in here?

The Teacher steps forward

Teacher: It was those two over there, I saw the whole thing. I had to pull them apart. All heard was some arguing and then next thing I know, Jonathan has Gabe on the ground and is pounding him. I mean I could hear the blows raining down! .....It was awful. I tried to separate them...

Officer: (Addressing suspect ID's as Jonathan) Is this true? Look at me, son! Were you fighting with that person over there? (Pointing at Gabe.)

Jonathan: Gabe took the Bacon and...

Officer: Whoa, Stop right there. (Shines flashlight in Jonathan's eyes...) You were fighting over plastic bacon?! Why?

Jonathan: He came into My Center. Just comes charging in, getting all up into my Kitchen!! He knows the rules, there's only supposed to be 4 kids per center. We had our four already, so there was no more room. Then, when I tried to kick him out, he goes and takes Alex's bacon. So I went to get it back. He knows you're not supposed to take stuff either!

(Turning to address Gabe)

That's right, Mo-Fo! You keep your sorry ass outta my house. Next time there won't be no teacher to save you!

Gabe lunges at Jonathan, there's a scuffle. Officer on Scene manages to separate them again. He continues to interview Jonathan

Officer: So he took Alex's bacon, what's that got to do with you? Why couldn't Alex handle it?

Jonathan: Ain't no man comin' into my house, disrespectin' my women and gettin' away with it!

Officer: Alex is a woman?! What about the teacher, Jonathan? Why didn't you get her involved? It's her job to enforce class rules, not yours!

Jonathan: The administration doesn't listen, Man! They always turn a blind eye! Its all like, " I don't want to hear it!" So what I supposed to do? Just take it?!

Officer: Well, you're not supposed to fight!

(Speaking to dispatch) I'm going to go ahead and bring the Suspect in for further questioning.

(To Jonathan) Go on! Get in back of the car, we'll continue this conversation back at the (Patrol) house!

Follow Up: After several days of investigation, Jonathan, who had been released on his own recognizance, was involved in another altercation. Police arrived on scene and collected one pair of cowboy boots used in an assault on another child. Jonathan, with his history of violence, is now a watched man. The police closely monitor his activities. Gabe, the Bacon Stealer is in the process of being transferred to another facility. Under further questioning the Teacher admitted Gabe was the instigator and was a habitual trouble maker. Alex continues to play with the Kitchen Center and is currently in love with Jonathan, making him as many plates of plastic bacon as he can handle. This will be the first of many Bad Boys she will be infatuated with over her life time. Watcha Gonna Do???