A Day in the Life...

This is my typical day:


5:30 - wake up, curse my alarm clock in strongest language possible. Curse at how cold the house is. Curse the fact I've never won the lottery.


5:35 - Make coffee. Curse Mr. Coffee and his Mother for being too slow.


5:45 - surf web while I wake up. Bengals still suck, Stock Market sucks, the Enquirer sucks, Eva Mendes ...Good.


6:00 - compose to do list, review files etc. Think about all I want to get done and all I have to get done for the day. Just as I start working in earnest...


6:15 - Emma wakes up. I put her in her seat next to me and continue working.


6:45: Try to wake my son who is in deep hibernation. Discover that not only does he have wet PJ's from a night time accident but also wet blankets, stuffed animals and pillows, carpet, etc. Apparently he had some sort of epileptic pissing fit in the middle of the night, but never managed to wake himself up.


7:00 Assist in getting wife off too work and son off to school. Start laundry from above disaster.


7:16 - Emma's already tired. Apparently sitting there watching me work wore her ass out.


7:20 Put her down again. Go up and down the steps 7 to 9 times in 5 to 6 minute intervals until either she falls asleep or I cannot ascend the stairs any longer.


7:50ish-??? - Work furiously as you never know when she'll wake up. Could be 40 minutes, could be 2 hours.

9:00ish - Emma needs to be held and I need to finish a quote. I proceed to strap Emma to carrier and try to work while standing.

Potential Customer: Is that a baby in the background?

Me: Baby?! No, that must be my TV. Hang on let me turn it down. (Where's that goddamned pacifier!?)

or

Me: Yeah! I am on the move today and working at a coffee shop for a little bit and this poor lady is having a tough time. (Seriously Kid! Where's the pacifier?)

or

Me: What? I don't hear anything...maybe it's interference. (On hands and knees at this point looking for the fucking pacifier. The books say little to no motor control at 3 months but she can wing a pacifier 10 ft, farther if I am on the phone.)

Repeat until roughly 6:30pm, inter spacing feedings every 4 hours or so.

Surprisingly, I have been somewhat productive. Which I attribute to the frenzy with which I work when I get the opportunity. I almost caught my cell phone and my right ear on fire yesterday during a 2 hour nap.