Things Not To Do: The Liquor Store

Being a Stay at Home Dad even for so brief a time, I have accumulated lots of knowledge. Most of it gained through painful experience. Today I learned a new lesson. Did you know, dear readers (all 6 of you), that it is generally speaking frowned upon to take your 7 month old to a liquor store?

Granted, I was purchasing for vacation and so my cart was steadily filling before I noticed the stares. I think it was when I grabbed the second large bottle of rum that I saw a fellow customer in the wine section visibly blanch, her eyes fixated on my 90 proof shopping binge. Then the man in cold beer shook his head as I price shopped bourbon. By the way, Maker's Mark over-priced, but also delicious.

Then there was The Alleged Alcoholic's Walk of Shame I had to take when I pulled out of the line for the register to get Creme De Banana. Every customer I wheeled by, regardless of the MD20/20 or the 30Pk High Life they were eagerly waiting to purchase, had the same reaction. First the smile for my daughter, and then when they saw my cart, their expression changed to a mixture of concern and disapproval. I could almost feel their tsking and head shaking behind my back. "What a shame. That poor child doesn't have a chance..." It also didn't help that Jim, the cashier, knew my name.

I wanted to turn around and explain to all that all this booze was for a vacation. That there would be 4 adults and we had these special drinking cups and designated cocktails for daytime and evening hours, we would be drinking through out the day, and through out the course over the week! If you really if you took that into consideration, I really should be buying more. I thought about how that might sink in, and I realized it was best to just keep quiet.

As I sit here enjoying a large delicious Manhattan, I don't feel the need to justify my shopping trip to anyone. If they spent all day with a 7 month old and most days with a 5 year old, they would want to bulk drink too. Never the less, to avoid the withering glances, perhaps next time I might leave her in the car with the windows up in the middle of a 90 degree heat wave. That way we all feel more comfortable. or perhaps just leave her at home in the play pen with a box of Cheerios and a sippy cup. I'll leave the box shut, so she'll be entertained trying to open it, and then get the tasty oat circles as a reward for her diligence.