What Happened in Here?

There's things in life you just have to figure out for yourself. You can be given some basic instructions, maybe a demo or two but at the end of the day, its up to you to master the skill set. I believe, or atleast I have until recently that ass wiping was one of the skills.

After providing basic instruction on premise, technique, quality control, and disposal, one hopes that after an initial "learning" phase the student perfects their own technique and everyone moves forward....cleanly. The events of yesterday have made me question this view, and I may have to develop a 200 level class in remedial ass wiping for my 4 year old. I'll share my syllabus shortly, but let me tell you what has made this seem necessary.

I enter the kid's bathroom to clean it. The first thing I do is flip on the lights. I almost passed out. It looked like someone had powerwashed a monster truck after Mud-o-Rama in there. There were multiple large smears on the floor. Did someone try to draw with a melting Snickers Bar? I cannot nor do I want to imagine how that happened. Above floor level, from the physical evidence, it looks like the right hand became, shall we say, soiled. You could trace his steps:

The Flush Lever....Brown.
The Toilet Seat...Brown.
Toilet Lid....Brown.
Edge of Vanity Top, Right side...that's right...Brown.
Sink, Right side...Brown.
Soap Dispenser...Brown. (That motherfucker was thrown OUT right away!)

Atleast the physical evidence suggests hands were in fact washed. I blasted the whole room with Scrub N Bubbles and walked away for 20 minutes before returning, with a whole roll of paper towels. It was about as bad as it gets. So, I guess that along with evidence gathered while doing a load of my son's underwear - lets just say it was disgusting and I immediately threw out the Shout bottle afterwards - its time to go back to school.