Staying at Home....Day One

I think she's trying to lure me into a false sense of complacency. She slept through the night for the most part without interruptions and took two long naps yesterday which allowed me to make several phone calls...I even had time to work out. Jonathan realized at dinner that I no longer go to work, how long before he makes a play to stay home too? I can assure you, that isn't going to happen.

An Inner Glimpse of My Mind

I was just taking a shower when I accidentally dropped my soap.

My first thought was, "Good thing I'm not in prison."

Things That Outrage Me Part IV....The Creation Museum

This "museum" opened about a year ago to much local fan fare. While it has been covered heavily in both the local and national media, I feel I need to weigh in. For starters, its practically in my back yard. But also, the local paper, The Enquirer gives the facility and its starter, Ken Hamm so much free publicity, without daring to opine. I swear I see an article once a month touting something going on there. We could bomb Iran, and the headline on the Enquirer would read, " Creation Museum to Add New Ark Exhibit." Meanwhile in the Life Section would feature, " Mrs. Hamm's Tasty Creations Fit for a Hungry Church Group or maybe "How to Evolve your little one's Taste Buds."

There are people on school boards across the country getting fired because they don't support the teaching of the "Controversy." What controversy?!! The Pope has recognized the fundamental principles of Evolution. Evolution is the basis for so much of our life sciences. As a nation we wonder why our children are falling behind in math and science and then we take them to a museum that tells them the world is less than 10,000 years old and has actually shows dinosaurs with saddles on them?!! Come on people!!!

I haven't read of a greater public disortion of basic science since maybe "scientifically" based claims of racial superiority from the Nazi's and to some extent White America in the early 19th century. Its the cultural equivalent of Copernicus being forced to renounce the Heliocentric theory of the universe, becase it threatened Catholic Dogma at the time. Only that was in the Middle Ages...aka...the Dark Ages. This is 2008!!!

People...you can pick and choose your politics, your religion, the clothes you wear, what you drive, the list goes on and on. All I am asking, is that if you choose to either completely ignore or dissort modern science in an attempt to craft your own world view...do it in the privacy of your own home, or church group. Don't petition public school boards to teach the Controversy which only exists in the minds of those who support Intelligent Design (or Creationism). Don't stuff a building with theatre props from Jurassic Park and charge admission and call it a museum. I'm going start a museum too. It'll be the Leprecaun Museum, and I'll fill it with all sorts of wee stuff to delight the children and advance belief in Leprechauns.

And the worse part it, people go to this museum in droves. You cannot bump into someone at an art museum or the history museum here in Cincinniati - but you have to wait in line to see people riding dinosaurs!!

Cannot we have two realms: the realm of belief (God, Heaven, Angels, The Bengals going to the Superbowl in my life time) and the realm of science (Evolution, Genetics, Engineering etc). They answer different questions and needs. But with some people and its seems to be more and more....if the answer isn't God and what's in the Bible - it's thrown out. And that outrages me, because if this keeps up we're heading towards a second Inquisition, an American Taliban and a supression of the very rights and ideals that enable people to build a phony museum and make tons of money. Keep your beliefs out of my face, my schools and my newspapers!!

Coincidence???

Just an observation...

On the eve of stunning upsets by both Hillary and John McCain, severe winds blew across the midwest damaging property and causing bodily harm.

Were these "Winds of Change" blowing across the country and into New Hampshire, or were they omens of bad things to come? Kind of like when a spell is cast in the movies and the the shutters fly open. Like when George Bailey wishes he was never born and the door blows open in Its a Wonderful Life.

Home Alone...

It's Tuesday. I am sitting at my desk, Emma is setting in her seat beside me. This will be my day for the next year. My wife returns to work on Monday, and will leave me here alone. I made the commitment early in the pregnancy to take a year to spend with our second child. I will continue to work from home while trying to be Mr. Mom. Initial observations:



1) Feedback from friends, family and co-workers has ranged from "That's wonderful" to "You're Nuts" to "It'll never last." I also get a lot of interesting facial expressions -which may be more telling than the audible commentary. I don't know yet who is right, but I am excited about a new adventure.



2) I am very concerned about work. My job requires the ability to react and the occasional need to travel. Since I cannot bring Emma to seat 21C to Wherever, it will be interesting to see what happens for me professionally and how I manage (or fail) to juggle both repsonsibilities.



3) This will have a big impact on Jill. For generations, Dad's have left the kids to go to work. Just as I deal with the opposite side of the coin, Jill will have her own internal struggles to manage.



4) I am very interested in this whole process. I plan on doing a weekly update. The highs, the lows, the wins and losses. It may be funny, sad or both...who knows maybe it'll be a book one day. If nothing else, it should make for interesting reading. Stay tuned for next week....

Hide the Bone...

My son came home from school yesterday, and during dinner he mentioned he played Hide the Bone at school.

Model of maturity and parenting prowess, my first reaction was too blow water through my nose.

My wife asked, "Where do you hide the bone?"

My son replied nonchalantly, " Between your legs..."

I asked, "How do you play this game?"

Jonathan explained, " Well...first you hide the bone, and then if you get caught you have to run really fast."

I told my wife he seemed to grasp the concept much better than I did at 13 let alone 4. I suppose we can take Having The Talk off our list of parental things to do. Funny, I didn't anticipate this being an issue at the preschool level.

Another Asshole...

Its been a busy few weeks with the holidays and managing 2 children. I apologize for the lack of content. But I do have a gem for you...complete with image.

While walking into my local Kroger store, I spotted the following vehicle. While the above photo won't do it justice, I will try to describe it as best as I can.

Before I begin...please notice the parking job. Nice...huh! This spot was actually pretty close to the door too.

1) Of course it is a large, diesel Dodge Ram truck. This one, while jazzed up with some large exhaust stacks jutting up semi-style through the bed, was missing a bumper, but did have a hitch. I couldn't believe there were no latex balls!

2) Decal on trunk that said "Redneck mafia." OK...what is the Redneck mafia? It is a group of country boys dealing in extortion, drug running and racketeering? Or it a code word for the Klan? Or is it a group of inbreds who work quietly behind the scenes to hick-ify our country. Perhaps they are responsible for pushing Realtree as a fashion statement, making Knucklefishing a TV event, getting GW Bush II elected to two terms and what must be their ultimate triumph to date: convincing the national media that a large part of the county cares about NASCAR. (FYI - ESPN, SI and mainstream media - I am pretty sure we don't)

3) Stickers on rear windows that are as follows:

a) One Dale Earnhardt #3 logo - that's key. He must be the aforementioned Mafia's version of Kurt Cobain, James Dean or JFK.

b) "Diesel Fumes make me Horny." Wow.....I'll let you run wild with this one. I don't know where to begin.

c) "Real Trucks don't have Spark Plugs" I actually liked this one, very clever. Much better than the usual Calvin pissing on any other vehicle logo, or worse yet kneeling before the cross. Hate those stickers!!!

4) The grand finale, unfortunately I couldn't get a good picture of it. On the side window, was a sticker that had a huge Dodge Ram logo with the caption up top "Cummin Hard." I assumed this was a reference to the Manliness of the engine. However, closer inspection revealed a naked woman's silhouette wrything in the throes of orgasmic passion straddled the ram's left horn. Bravo!!!! Way to combine classlessness, with bestiality and at least thematic hints at Satanism (Goats, female sexuality, Eve).

I submit to you dear readers...this gentleman...or country lesbian is in fact an asshole.