Things That Outrage Me Part 1

I cannot stand it when I pull into the grocery store looking for a parking spot somewhere close to the door and just when I think I spot one between the endless rows of SUV's and mini vans, I discover some lazy asshole has left their cart right in the middle of the damned parking spot when the cart corral is only 3 spaces away!
Then as I hike into the store, I have plenty of time to survey the rest of the parking lot. It's complete pandemonium! Carts in the flower beds, cards in between parking spots, carts in the middle of the road!
Inevitably some poor pimply faced, bad-hair having 16 year old is trying to wrestle all the carts back into the store, but he cannot keep up. Then your car gets a dent in it from a runaway cart, there's no dry carts on rainy day, and the only carts inside are the ones with the crooked wheels that drive like Lindsey Lohan after her usual breakfast cocktails.
Its a pretty simple concept people! Shopping Carts go in the Shopping Cart Corrals! That's it! They don't get wedged between your bumper and the next car, up in the mulch, or in the next spot. It's real freaking simple! 90% of the people do it right - why can't you?! Do you think your special?

You know what I think?!

I think maybe you are a lazy, selfish asshole! If you don't have the energy to push your cart up three rows, maybe you shouldn't a picked up that 3rd pack of HoHo's and spent your entire morning on your fat ass watching that Gilmore Girl's marathon all day on Lifetime. No wonder Type 2 diabetes and heart disease are epidemic!
If its OK to leave your cart in the middle of the parking lot, what other rules don't apply to you. Red Lights? Tax Laws? Homicide? Where do you draw the line? And that is the root issue here - people who think they have a freaking line item veto on the Rules. Because they are special, they apparently can inconvenience everyone else, do as they please and in the process be a complete and total douche bag.
Well I have had it, and I will continue to point out examples of world class douchery wherever and whenever I find it! Like cockroaches in the night, I hope they scatter when the bright light of my innocence and intellect fixes them in its beam. This is my promise to you. Until next time.