Obituary

The 2007 Bengals Play-Off Hopes died this past Sunday, taken too soon from this earth after only 7 games. The Hope had been frail this year, suffering many injuries which depleted an already frail body decimated by suspensions, free angency and bad draft decisions. Hope is survived by her sisters, Misery, Disbelief, Despair and a brother, Rage.

Marvin Lewis spoke at the wake, giggling "We've all got to try and do our jobs and move forward." He blabbered on about responsibility, selfishness and challenges of surviving in the league without stopping the other team.

Ahmad Brooks was supposed to speak, but reinjured his groin on the way to the podium . Odell Thurman was present, and was so distraught he skipped an AA meeting to keep his former team mates company at the bar. I last saw him leading Chris Henry and Reggie Neal in rousing game of beer pong.

Marvin, Chad, Carson and TJ were seen arguing over who should be at what position when the casket was carried out. The discussion became so heated that TJ angrily threw his hat. Then Carson and Marvin staggered under the addition weight when Chad suddenly left the procession to go find his special funeral shoes and casket handling gloves.

As of right now, the Bengals are in position for the 8th pick in the draft in 2008, where we will all join for the rebirth of Hope