How did this happen???!

"And you may find yourself behind the wheel of a large automobile
And you may find yourself in a beautiful house, with a beautiful wife
And you may ask yourself-Well...How did I get here?"

Talking Heads, Once Upon a Life

I find it very hard to believe I have 2 kids. 2 kids...seems so much a bigger deal than 1. One kid, and you're starting a family, you're young and hip. I completely adore Emma. Jonathan is awesome. I have the best wife in the world. I am happy. (Which in and of itself sometimes feels weird.)But I gotta tell you, when Kid #2 come along, its like the Bureau of Stereotypes comes in while you're still in the hospital.

" I'm with the B.S. Just a couple questions before we let you go home. Great...Second Child? How old are you?"

"Yes, second child...I'm 31"

"Wonderful....I see you've lost most of your hair. Looks like you have a pretty sizable mortgage....that's excellent. Oh...and I see here it looks like you spend a fair amount of time worrying about your 401-K. We really like to see that! Any urges to buy a Sports Car, or cheat on your wife, quit your job and start a dairy farm?"

"No, but I did run a triathlon last month, I am planning on doing a marathon this spring and I have found myself very absorbed in Sports the past few years. Is that normal?"

"Oh perfectly normal, we see it all the time. You're interest in racing in simply you trying to convince yourself that 30 doesn't mean your over the hill. The obsession with sports, also common in the over 30 non athlete is you trying to identify yourself with younger, richer more virile males.

"OK Good that's a relief I guess, so now what?"

"Well...I suggest going home. Do you have a minivan or an SUV?"

"We have a Jeep Cherokee."

"Great...well, I'll check back in a couple years. I'd really like to see you add a few pounds to your mid section, get that BP and Cholesterol up. Hopefully we can start start talking about Type 2 Diabetes. Maybe you should consider making an irrational purchase like a hot tub or a boat. Also, start thinking about that Disney vacation."

"Gee thanks, so uh I guess this is it....?"

"This is it, see you in a few years!"