The Sponge

We’ve grown up in an age of media bombardment and so most of us have a filter that allows us to ignore most advertising. My five year old has no such filter. While a 2 hour movie, or even a 30 minute cartoon might not command his rapt attention or completely sink in, a 30 second TV spot is perfect. He’s always been quick to pick up an advertising jingle, but we’ve advanced in the past few weeks. Every toy commercial he sees is the toy he most urgently wants at that moment. 45 seconds later, it’s a different toy. Lately at appropriate times, he has even been recommending products to me based on the commercials he has seen.

While Working in the Garden

“Dad, You need an Aqua Globe.”

“What’s that?”

“It’s this thing you fill with water and it’s a snap! (he tries unsuccessfully to snap his fingers) All you do is place it in the soil (yes, he used the word soil) and it does all the work. You don’t have to lift a finger! They can work as many as 10 days!!! They come in all sorts of funky colors, but they are not available in stores. "

“Wow, I should get one of those.”

“Yeah…but they aren’t available in stores so you should call now.”

While Discussing Work

“Dad, Are you going to work tomorrow?”

“Unfortunately, yes I am.”

“Well,” He looked at me very seriously and nodded his head sagely as if he were about to give me some really good advice, “ You should talk to your work about Aflac.”

“Aflac?” I said, “What’s that?”

“Insurance, Dad. Ask your work.”

I am not sure how a 5 year old sounds patronizing but my son can do it.


Waiting on Pizza Delivery

My son, currently dressed as Batman, asks me if I have ordered the pizza yet, to which I reply that I had. He looks at me and squints his eyes through his mask, points his finger and in his deepest voice growls, ““You’ve got 30 minutes!”

“ What should I do?” I asked him.

“Dad!” He looked at me impatiently, and then answered gravely “That’s your decision.” He then took off down the hallway, cape flying behind him.