Things seen in the 305 Monday Night

The first game of the season is always special. When the 1st regular season game is also a Monday night....you know its going to be on. We sit in a pretty rowdy section, which is good, because my wife and I fit right in, but I knew it would be extra special.

Some things seen:

• A girl in a 84 jersey and a bright orange bob wig flashed the crowd a couple times before being tossed. While I didn't see her, I saw a group of guys we refer to as the felons chanting "Show your tits!," while raising their shirts to expose their pasty, bloated, beer-nurtured hairy bellies and corresponding man-boobs. The closer was when the head felon disappeared and came back with her wig....which he wore the rest of the night.
• (Pick One) The guy in front of me at one point got so excited he:

a) Fell over and knocked over my beer.

b) Ripped off his jersey in a burst of euphoria and began windmilling it madly, striking me, my wife and anyone within a 4ft radius.

c) He started finishing my signature cheers

d) All of the above

The Correct answer is all of the above.

• The "Dirty Stinking Cheaters" cheer is catching on, with several fans participating. I feel like Jim Jones...soon I will prepare the Kool-Aid.
• My section name is apparently "Malkovich" as in John the actor, my very first nickname. It started last year and has survived the off season so I think its official. I don't know why.
• On seeing my Pregnant Wife, King of the Felons reached out his hand and gently patted my wife's belly and asked with a huge grin, " Look at Malkovich's Old Lady! What have you been doing during the off season?!"
• I replied with a leer, some swagger and wink, "That's right." Then I thrust my hips forward a couple times....not really but it would have bee funnier if I did.